As of twentytwelve I will be 25 years old. I have always (ever since I can remember) wanted to meet my person – travel together, laugh together and spoon (best to get it out of the way now.. I have an unhealthy obsession for spooning). However, finding a suitable “mate” in today’s society is rather difficult. My advice (not that I have a man) is that everyone has bad habits; the trouble is finding someone with habits you can put up with. I guess that is the point of this blog.. I have met some very “interesting” people along the way.. which has provided hours of entertainment for my friends. So under the guidance of these good friends, I will now share them with anyone who can be bothered reading this.

To give you a brief understanding of my dating history, I shall start at the very beginning!

My first boyfriend was a guy I fell in lust with at school. I had a crush on him from year 7, but he had a crazy girlfriend who literally put a hex on me, would trip me over in front of the whole school and often slip notes into my school bag describing how much she hated me. He finally broke up with this witch and we started to date in year 9/10. He was my first kiss. I still remember how I felt this day, we were in a tent at Shoal Bay *blushes*. However, we broke up as he was gay. In hindsight he would only ever hold my hand inside of his shorts pockets.. How could that not click at how strange that is? lol. He is now my best male friend and I love him dearly.

Since this experience, I have briefly dated 3 other gay men. My gay-dar is clearly broken. Thank god it is now compulsory that my x (beefy wang – he requested this name) meets them to tell me how it is(gay or metro).

I have had a couple of other boyfriends in between; you know the usual older guy who has a car to pick you up from school. But I think the more interesting people have started to arise in the past couple of years  

Then I met the guy I was convinced I was going to marry. We were 19 and dated for 18 months. He was 6’6, piercing blue eyes, blonde hair and knew exactly all the right buttons to push. We talked about everything, where we would live, our children’s names.. what turns us on, our fantasies, I even gave him a blow job whilst he was driving (totally out of my comfort zone). His dog use to hump my leg though every time I came over.. and when we were about to have sex – he would have to shut the blinds and make sure the dog was out of the house. He had this weird obsession that the dog couldn’t see us do anything, because that would be terrible! I remember our first real fight was over his dog seeing us kiss.  Christmas Eve.. sadface, this is when he sent me the infamous break up text, then in the same breath needed me to pick him up from work (an hour from my house). I cried the whole way there and back – why did I even pick him up? Ahh, Idiot!. He totally shattered my heart, cheating on me and getting a 16 year old girl pregnant. Not his fault though “What am I suppose to do when you’re at work or uni all the time?”. He then proceeded to tell me that he was changing uni degrees from business management to midwifery “I’ll see vagina all day!”. For years I thought I had loved him, and I have pleasure in telling you all, I wasn’t.  I wasn’t in love with this jerk, I was in love with his penis. We had no real connection; I just wanted the connection to be there.

Lesson: There are 2 kinds of love. Sexual love and a Deeper Personal love. I believe you need both types of love to have a successful and long lasting relationship.

It is from this enriching relationship that I began to meet such “interesting” men. I guess you will have to wait for my next blog, where you will begin to see that you know normal people, and well.. I don’t!